Okay Saints, You Guys Can Stop Joking Around Now.
LOL, I love my team. My team being THE team, the New Orleans Saints. World Champs. Why do I, and all of the Black and Gold Nation love them much? Where do I start? Maybe at our shining golden boy of a signal caller who releases spirals with Jesus-like accuracy and confidence? Or could it be our genius coach with the computer mind who calculates offensive probability in an instant? Maybe it’s our defense, a unit that seems to sometimes stop opposing offenses with not size, not speed, but sheer will? For me, it’s all of those. It’s all of those reasons that make Sunday afternoon (or morning since I’m in L.A.) so much fun.
Recently though, I’ve discovered another reason to love the Saints, another reason to worship at the throne of Black and Gold. The Saints it seems are jokesters. The Lombardi boys have a sense of humor. I first noticed this funny streak during the second game of the season, when Robert Meachem came free across the deep middle and Drew missed him. The rest of the Saints fans I was around were getting their panties all in a bunch, while meanwhile I laughed hysterically. I laughed because I got the joke. Drew was out their spitballin’, having a good time in the bay area. There is no way he can miss on that route because he’s a direct descendant of John the Baptist and we all know it. The Saints went on to have a hilarious game where they kept pretending like the 49ers were going to win before pulling it out in the final seconds.
That game was nothing compared to the next one, where the Who Dats took on the hated Atlanta Falcons in the Superdome. While this entire contest made me want to piss my pants, the ending was by far the funniest part. After Drew the Baptist engineered a picture perfect overtime drive to the Atlanta 11 yard line, Garrett Hartley decided it was his time to be a comedian. This clown shanked a 29 yard field goal, and I for one thought it was a god damned laugh riot. It was really funny to watch the Falcons, a totally unimpressive football team, celebrate on our home field. I was in stitches watching Matt “Meathead” Ryan, take his team down the field and then kick the game winner.
I get the joke. I’m something of a comedy guy myself, so I can appreciate some hi-jinks from time to time. The Saints are trying to act like they’re turning into their old selves again. They’re finding ways to keep games close, executing like crap, and keeping inferior teams in games by making silly mistakes. Injuries are piling up, the running game is disappearing and the offense has yet to touch 30 points in any game this season. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. Funny right? Them boys are crazy.
Well, after Sunday’s game, I have to admit that I’m losing my sense of humor. When the Saints took on the lowly Carolina Panthers, I was looking to have some serious fun watching the team that I have come to love. What I got was another comedy of errors. The Saints started off looking sharp, then fumbles and dumbness turned the game into a Seinfeld rerun. First, Lance Moore put the ball on the turf trying to stretch for the end zone. Then Chris “mini Adrian Peterson” Ivory decided that he’d fumble in Panther territory as well. Add to this a monumental blown coverage by Malcolm Jenkins and it was looking like Carolina, led by a rookie quarterback, might steal one in New Orleans. That would not have been funny at all. As a matter of fact, that would have been quite non-joyous. The Saints ended up eeking one out on a great defensive stand, and now sit at 3-1 on the season.
So, I’m writing this blog to officially give the Saints permission to get serious. Get serious on offense, get serious on defense, and get serious calling the games. Robert Meachem, get serious bro. Where are you? I know you think it’s funny to regress after your break out year but it’s not. Show up man, you came a long way last season. Reggie Bush, get seriously healthy. We don’t need you to be dominating, but we need you to be multiple. You give us the looks and match up issues that allow for the one on ones that Drew always exploits. Garrett Hartley, get serious about your career. We all love you for this, but if you can’t stick em from inside 40 with regularity, you won’t last long in the league. Lance Moore, Chris Ivory, and Ladell Betts get serious about your opportunity. All three of you played well in spots last week, but just remember, this is a team with a lot of weapons and a there’s only one football. Make the most of your time to contribute.
We’re 3-1 and I know you guys have just been joking around. I admit it was hysterical, but let’s turn it up a little now.